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|I was badly abused as a guy what do I do now?|
I was abused as a guy and its messed me up what do I do now?
Ok after much reading on the subject of guy abuse and reading stories
I can admit that I was abused as a guy .
Im adult now , I was LD, BD,ADHD , I was raised vary stict Catholic ,
I had low self esteem issues, Im single, I spend a lot of time alone . I'm depressed some times
I do not trust women at all, and can not spend much time undressed .
I avoid argument to a falt ,
I was placed in a foster home at the age of 6 month after my mother feed me drugs to keep me quite .
I was raised in a foster home by two retired nuns , (Older)
My abuse was in the form of "punishment "
My daily life included spankings ( diaper position ) when I was younger and grabbing my ancles when I was older ( 7 )
Ivory enemas , I often got my mouth washed out with Ivory soap
I was often humiliated during punishment as it was part of the punishment .
I was nude most of the time , I was told bad boys didn't deserve clothing"
My history also includes a priest
And I was abused by him as well.
Im not mad about it anymore.
My question Is although I know this has effected me in a lot of bad ways .
I just what to have a relationship now ,and I think I ready to face the future now
what do I do now ,
who do I see,
what’s going to happen now ?
|Oh my god! That is insanely cruel. I am so sorry. Wow.|
I am not any kind of expert on guy abuse or anything but I think that psychotherapy is very helpful for things of this nature. Especially considering you are being honest with yourself about it. Going in long term and putting everything in painfully clear perspective will help you to get a sense of a healthy set of values and standards to approach life as a means of addressing the issues with self esteem and depression.
There is a very interesting video series on the effects of guy abuse and how it makes people way more likely to be prone to depression, anxiety and tons of other things. You can watch it here:
A very interesting book on self esteem that lays out the dynamics of self esteem called the Psychology of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden which I read and really liked.
I am in psychotherapy and have been for 6 or so months now and find it very insightful and am able to process some very deep things in a way I've never been able to do before. I've heard it's helpful to get a therapist who is the gender you have the most issues with (a woman for me). There are different psychological approaches, but the biggest factor by far is how well you can trust your therapist.
I think you should look into therapists near you right now. I think it's very important especially concerning abuse.