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Girlfriend is Dominant Sexually What Can I Do?? HELP?
My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. She has recently moved in with me. We get on really well together and everything is good, however - I am a bit confused….

My girlfriend is a big feminist, and always talks about how she hates male chauvinists, male dominated society and discrimination against women. She lost her virginity to me.

We rarely have sex (last time was about 3 months ago) as she says it hurts her (it has always been like this). I am OK with this as I love her and we do other things in the bedroom. When we do have sex we almost always need to stop due to her pain. We rarely have sex and only when she requests it. I bought her sex toys to help her enjoy herself.

Normally when we do any sexual activity (around 3-4 times a week together) she will use her vibrator on her clitoris and makes me suck or touch her breasts, instructing me exactly how she wants it done. She will constantly tell me what to do, she spanks me, slaps me in the face, tells me where to sit, babies me, instructs me when and where to orgasm.

Whenever I try and do anything and take control in the bedroom she nearly always tells me off.

I won’t go into all the domination she has done before here. I played up to this as it turns her on and I want her to be happy.

Last time we went to a hotel for valentines day, I got her a whip and some domination clothes. She started off shy then she went crazy whipping me really really hard, spanking and slapping me. I don't think she remembers how hard she was hitting me I was left with bruises afterwards.

I downloaded a pack of feminist/femdom pictures for her to look at and she has gone though all the images and taken ideas from them. Although she said the feminist/femdom pictures where too harsh - I think she was embarrassed about liking them or didn’t want to tell me. A lot of these pictures where cartoons of female domination over men. She had already done many of the things in the cartoons to me and then she started to do some of them she hadn’t done…..Even today she seemed to suggest another thing from one of the cartoons.

We went out to a fancy dress party and she dressed as a Nazi SS Officer. She wore fish net leggings, a blonde wig, red lip stick, dark eye liner and see through pants under a short mini skirt. I searched the internet for ‘nazi feminist’ and got the term ‘feminazi’ – another side of feminism where women want to dominate men. She said if I had gone as Jewish she would have taken a whip with her. Although I am not Jewish I am circumcised and as a guy I got bullied for it my girlfriend knows this.

She already has black leather boots which she calls her Nazi boots. She went to the shops the other day looking for some leather boots with laces up the front (similar to Dominatrix boots – although she didn’t mention this).

The other night she wanted to both smoke weed and watch fight club the film. She wanted me to be naked as she played with my balls while I was watching it. Then she made me suck her breasts for ages while she was playing with her vibrator watching men being beaten up. Then she wanted me to orgasam on her butt, saying I was to only look at her butt and she kept saying “its like any butt”.

Whenever I have tried to have a serious conversation to her about it all she says ‘i'm just joking'. It seems very clear to me our relationship is a Domination and Submission (Female Dominated) relationship. However my girlfriend won’t talk about it seriously what can I do? I think she is embarrassed about talking about it. I want to buy her some books or have a serious talk about it with her. What do people suggest?

She sounds delightful. The world is filled with men who would pay a lot of money to be treated the way you are getting treated. I don't know what you're complaining about.